Anger Management 101

By Pat Bernardo

There were two golfers playing a skins game. For those of you non-golfers, a skins game means low score wins the hole and the most holes won, wins the match – lowest overall score doesn’t necessarily mean you win the match. On the first hole, Joe the nervous golfer hits 3 trees, 2 sand traps and 4 putts for a 12. Bob the angry golfer gets a double bogey 6 by missing a 3-foot putt. Bob wins the hole and is up 1-0.

Joe puts the first hole behind him. Bob can’t shake the anger of missing the 3 footer. Joe calms down and hits his groove and Bob falls apart hole after hole always mumbling about that 3 footer that got away. How many of you know Bob?

I can hear many of you out there now. What is Bob’s problem? Can’t he see he won the first hole even with the 3 putts? How can somebody let something so small on the first hole affect his entire 18 holes of golf? Why didn’t he break the game apart into holes and put the bad event behind him like Joe and move forward to victory?

I use golf because it’s very easy to see the break between holes and it’s easy to relay the sense of a fresh start on each hole. This is the racquetball lesson for today.

In racquetball, you will have bad shots, you will have bad referee calls, you will face disputes with your opponents and you will lose close rallies. The trick is that at the beginning of each serve or serve return you take a deep breath and start fresh. All the other past points are behind you. Racquetball is best played in the absolute present and not played with influences from the past. Don’t get me wrong; I’m not saying to forget what you have learned in the past…like your opponent’s weaknesses or least favorite serve. I am saying that your mind needs to be “quiet” from past event rumblings. Racquetball is played a little quicker than golf but the breaks, while smaller, are still there to be used. If you allow the past to cause uncontrolled anger it adversely affects the future and you can find yourself in a downward spiral. 

Don’t get me wrong. If I miss a shot I get mad. My grandmother says to use “angry” but I get truly mad. I have found a couple tricks to rid myself of the anger by next rally.

First the easy one…when your opponent beats you with a good shot…even if you hit a slight setup…tell him “good shot”. This at least acknowledges that your opponent did something better than normal and relieves you of some of the blame for losing a rally. This may seem trivial but it does put this rally loss behind you quickly.

This one is going to cost me money…I know many of you bang your racquets in anger to relieve the tension. Some of you break them (thank you very much). I’m not a big racquet banger but every once in a while the urge overtakes me too. I hit my butt cap against the wall…not the frame itself...just the bottom of the handle. The release is almost the same but your wallet will thank you later. I’m not condoning this…but I know it happens.

Get yourself a word. I know many of us swear out there in anger to move past our shortcomings. Believe it or not, you can just get yourself a normal word and yell it out a little louder than normal and it won’t get you a technical. It will relieve some of the tension. I’ve heard “Sugar”, “Heck”, ” Shoot”, and “your own name” to name a few. I know it’s tough…I still swear once in a while myself…I’ve been getting better at yelling my own name after scaring a crowd with a long winded rendition of something that looked like this (#$^*@ my *&^%^ you “bleep”). At least I was talking to myself.

Lastly, be realistic. What I mean is that you should go into a match knowing your ability. Know that you will skip some balls. Know that you will miss-hit some. Know that you will setup your opponent. Have a couple numbers in mind. I will not skip more than 6 balls this game. I will not miss-hit more than 2. I will only setup my opponent 5 times etc. This way when you skip the first ball, you will realize it’s not a big deal. You’re still under your realistic number and you move on. This allows you to see the game as a whole and a little mistake does not jeopardize the bigger goal. You’re more relaxed with the realization that these mistakes will happen and you accept them in better stride. 

I have tried for 25 years to achieve perfect racquetball. I’m convinced that you can get close but you will never attain perfection. Controlling the anger or disappointment between points is the key to becoming a much more consistent, effective player. It will also be a lifelong pursuit…good luck from somebody on the same road!!

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Questions or comment…Pat@Racquetworld.com

You can forward any rules questions to me at Pat@Racquetworld.com

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